I just need some reassurance now that there'd be someone permanently there who isn't going to leave every single time I screw up. I miss the feeling of coming back tired and seeing something that makes me smile. I miss the words you say just to make me feel okay. I miss having someone to watch my back while I shot for my dreams. I miss hearing these two words: "I understand". I miss feeling worthy of the people around me. I miss having the upper-hand. I miss being weak, but happily weak. 

Being sad is addictive. And it disgusts me. 

“I have learned that if you are down, stay down. Don’t get back on your fucking feet until you are prepared to stand. Don’t get up until you have learned why you fell. Nine times out of ten, it is because you were weighing down on someone who could no longer hold you. You gave someone your power. You forgot about yourself. Let me tell you something - there is one person there for you. One person. It’s the same person that wipes your shit and feeds you and cleans up your vomit after a drunken night. It’s the same person who brushes your teeth and tends to your wounds and gets your crying ass out of the shower. The same one that tucks you into bed and cradles you in the night and fights off the darkness and embraces the light. It’s you. It’s always been you. Don’t get off that fucking ground because you see somebody you know or somebody you want to know, or - somebody you can rely on. Wipe your fucking face and get up for you. Because you can. Because it’s the least of what you owe yourself.”

xoxo,

me

I just need some reassurance now that there'd be someone permanently there who isn't going to leave every single time I screw up. I miss the feeling of coming back tired and seeing something that makes me smile. I miss the words you say just to make me feel okay. I miss having someone to watch my back while I shot for my dreams. I miss hearing these two words: "I understand". I miss feeling worthy of the people around me. I miss having the upper-hand. I miss being weak, but happily weak. 

Being sad is addictive. And it disgusts me. 

“I have learned that if you are down, stay down. Don’t get back on your fucking feet until you are prepared to stand. Don’t get up until you have learned why you fell. Nine times out of ten, it is because you were weighing down on someone who could no longer hold you. You gave someone your power. You forgot about yourself. Let me tell you something - there is one person there for you. One person. It’s the same person that wipes your shit and feeds you and cleans up your vomit after a drunken night. It’s the same person who brushes your teeth and tends to your wounds and gets your crying ass out of the shower. The same one that tucks you into bed and cradles you in the night and fights off the darkness and embraces the light. It’s you. It’s always been you. Don’t get off that fucking ground because you see somebody you know or somebody you want to know, or - somebody you can rely on. Wipe your fucking face and get up for you. Because you can. Because it’s the least of what you owe yourself.”

xoxo,

me