Wanted to skip updating today but I'd feel so bad if I stop keeping this thing alive even though I've been so busy nowadays that I barely know what I'm doing -.- Still need to head to school tomorrow to do video taking for Soong trololol (x 

Have been working the past few days at some warehouse at Redhill. Omg, it's so freaking far away~ It's like, 12 stops away from my home D: Thank God work only starts at 10AM, so I get to wake up at 7:45AM 8) Hahahas. If not I'd be zombie-fied like how I was during hospital attachment (every morning 5:30AM ah rofl). The job's quite mind-boggling because there are just so many shoes from each brand and they are all not sorted out *___* And then we have to sort them out into the same model and then stack them all up. Quite tiring hahahaha. We've kind of finished packing I guess :/ I'm not going to the warehouse sale tomorrow because of JNCO stuff lol. Haish JNCO stuff JNCO stuff JNCO stuff, everyday worry about JNCO stuff -.- Just the thought about it also makes me feel like rolling my eyes at it. 

We shouldn't do anything on impulse. Really. Anything.

Sometimes I feel so bad for always being so demanding with people when I'm nothing near perfect. But sometimes I just felt so disappointed when I get something that I know is less than what I deserve. What I deserve meaning comparing it to the effort I put in. I guess it's just so weird. I'm trying my best to be very very understanding but like I said, TRY, and I fail at times. Oh well. 

It's bad to feel this way but I really really hate how I am. Why can't I be something or like something and I just can find so many things that I don't like about myself. I just feel so...extra and like everything I do just isn't enough for people around me, whether I am honestly trying or not. I know I shouldn't want to be something I'm not and that's unlike what I always believe in but...I'm starting to buckle under the pressure. And sadly or ironically, it's the pressure that I'm giving myself. It's just so hard to find someone who would accept me for who I really am, that I'm starting to even suspect if this is really who I am. I'm tired of not finding anyone who would listen and take time to understand why I'm behaving in some sort of manner, and that's not even considering if I let people understand me. I just feel so fake most of the time. I always pretend like I don't give a damn about what's happening in the world or what everyone thinks about me but inside I'm just so scared. I'm just really not good enough. No matter what people say.

I don't even know why I'm ranting. Not like anyone will read it.

Hahaha, since I'm bored, I shall do a bias spam. Oh my, all the feels evoked in this little space :DDD

Wanted to skip updating today but I'd feel so bad if I stop keeping this thing alive even though I've been so busy nowadays that I barely know what I'm doing -.- Still need to head to school tomorrow to do video taking for Soong trololol (x 

Have been working the past few days at some warehouse at Redhill. Omg, it's so freaking far away~ It's like, 12 stops away from my home D: Thank God work only starts at 10AM, so I get to wake up at 7:45AM 8) Hahahas. If not I'd be zombie-fied like how I was during hospital attachment (every morning 5:30AM ah rofl). The job's quite mind-boggling because there are just so many shoes from each brand and they are all not sorted out *___* And then we have to sort them out into the same model and then stack them all up. Quite tiring hahahaha. We've kind of finished packing I guess :/ I'm not going to the warehouse sale tomorrow because of JNCO stuff lol. Haish JNCO stuff JNCO stuff JNCO stuff, everyday worry about JNCO stuff -.- Just the thought about it also makes me feel like rolling my eyes at it. 

We shouldn't do anything on impulse. Really. Anything.

Sometimes I feel so bad for always being so demanding with people when I'm nothing near perfect. But sometimes I just felt so disappointed when I get something that I know is less than what I deserve. What I deserve meaning comparing it to the effort I put in. I guess it's just so weird. I'm trying my best to be very very understanding but like I said, TRY, and I fail at times. Oh well. 

It's bad to feel this way but I really really hate how I am. Why can't I be something or like something and I just can find so many things that I don't like about myself. I just feel so...extra and like everything I do just isn't enough for people around me, whether I am honestly trying or not. I know I shouldn't want to be something I'm not and that's unlike what I always believe in but...I'm starting to buckle under the pressure. And sadly or ironically, it's the pressure that I'm giving myself. It's just so hard to find someone who would accept me for who I really am, that I'm starting to even suspect if this is really who I am. I'm tired of not finding anyone who would listen and take time to understand why I'm behaving in some sort of manner, and that's not even considering if I let people understand me. I just feel so fake most of the time. I always pretend like I don't give a damn about what's happening in the world or what everyone thinks about me but inside I'm just so scared. I'm just really not good enough. No matter what people say.

I don't even know why I'm ranting. Not like anyone will read it.

Hahaha, since I'm bored, I shall do a bias spam. Oh my, all the feels evoked in this little space :DDD