"I just need to get away for awhile."

I was so tired the past few days I didn't even think about noting down the happenings of that day just so that I could remember everything in the future. 

Today's the last day of orientation (and thankfully we have the morning off) and I guess I have mixed feelings about it because I was looking forward to the end and mostly because I'm too tired to think. Well, the last two days were great and even though there were some drama along the way I guess it still always finds a way to work out in the end (: Nothing much to comment about because I wouldn't want to think about all the stupid stuff that happened but nevertheless, it's been great (:

Yesterday I talked about some things, and even though I will probably continue to feel this way until the end of time, I guess I've decided to move on and look forward. No, look high. I believe that I've been up there and I have done things that I've never expected myself to be able to. I will never let anyone look down on me because I know I can be so much more than they think I am. I will go my way, and they will go on theirs. Doesn't matter if the road is filled with disappointment because I'm trying to minimize how I disappoint others. And that's all that really matters to me. 

And on a sidenote, we can't keep expecting things from others because maybe they were never what you thought they were. 

I can't let you in. I don't want you to see all these things. I can't explain just how all these things are finally coming together now to form a big picture and I now know all the implications of what might happen because of the decisions I make. It isn't easy to "screw what others think" because I know I can't do that, and I will never be strong enough to do that. I guess that's why I will never be good enough for you, because I lack the courage that you always have.

xoxo,

me

P.S. I'm really craving for cake.

"I just need to get away for awhile."

I was so tired the past few days I didn't even think about noting down the happenings of that day just so that I could remember everything in the future. 

Today's the last day of orientation (and thankfully we have the morning off) and I guess I have mixed feelings about it because I was looking forward to the end and mostly because I'm too tired to think. Well, the last two days were great and even though there were some drama along the way I guess it still always finds a way to work out in the end (: Nothing much to comment about because I wouldn't want to think about all the stupid stuff that happened but nevertheless, it's been great (:

Yesterday I talked about some things, and even though I will probably continue to feel this way until the end of time, I guess I've decided to move on and look forward. No, look high. I believe that I've been up there and I have done things that I've never expected myself to be able to. I will never let anyone look down on me because I know I can be so much more than they think I am. I will go my way, and they will go on theirs. Doesn't matter if the road is filled with disappointment because I'm trying to minimize how I disappoint others. And that's all that really matters to me. 

And on a sidenote, we can't keep expecting things from others because maybe they were never what you thought they were. 

I can't let you in. I don't want you to see all these things. I can't explain just how all these things are finally coming together now to form a big picture and I now know all the implications of what might happen because of the decisions I make. It isn't easy to "screw what others think" because I know I can't do that, and I will never be strong enough to do that. I guess that's why I will never be good enough for you, because I lack the courage that you always have.

xoxo,

me

P.S. I'm really craving for cake.