Before you do anything, please watch the above and appreciate the piece of perfection and wonder if he's real or not. Why oh why do you have to look so good with that hair of yours and your dimples and everything WHY WHY WHY.

Alright, as I'm typing this, I have officially 29 minutes left on my last day of being 15. To be honest, age is really just a number for people to identify you as and to categorize you and stuff like that. Mostly just for convenience sake. To me, age is really always going to be a number. That's why I don't understand why your 16th birthday is the big birthday, and then your 21st and all those because ultimately I'm still me and I'm just ageing.

That's what I'm truly afraid of. You're celebrating one year more of living, but you're celebrating one year closer to dying. I'm not being morbid, just being realistic. I get so upset when things become messed up and everything because I like my life to be just the way it is and I don't like change, be it good or bad changes. That's why I get so upset when I thought I lost my calculator because I don't want change. I don't want to grow old and see things in the world that I never knew and then become an adult and be thrown responsibilities that I know my mentality will NEVER be able to handle. I'm so scared.

Last year's birthday was horrible because I spent the entire day studying and my whole family didn't want to celebrate for me and I sat there with my cake, hoping that they'll come out of their rooms and sing with me but they never did. And they didn't feel the need to. And I sat there for an hour, until I realised I should get to bed so I choked down my cake and went to bed crying. This year isn't the same but it's the first time I wish my birthday never came.

Today I got really inspired by Ms Soh because just like how I think age is just a number, she said that grades are just letters. And why are our worth being calculated based on the kind of grades you get? Getting an A makes you a good person and getting a D makes you a bad person. Does that mean I'm a bad person? And what really made me realise that we fight so hard just to satisfy ourselves and by passing and getting Bs is what's going to make me satisfied then so be it and it's no one's business (: Because I have satisfied myself and reached my goal so who cares if everyone's getting As and A+s? 

Alright, 20 minutes left. 

Looking back on the past year, I've made many mistakes and I've made many right choices. And to be honest, I still don't know what direction am I heading and what are my goals. But alright, it has been an eventful year and I'm grateful for it (: Thank you to everyone for making the year great man, it means a lot. And what's in store for me...well, I shall leave that all up to what's in and what's in shall be what I'm going to see so... (: Haha.

Okay, I really don't think I should blog now because I'm really upset about being 16. Well, happy sweet 16 cheryl ying. Don't be too hard on yourself yeah? x

xoxo,

me 

13 minutes to go. Sad birthday.

Before you do anything, please watch the above and appreciate the piece of perfection and wonder if he's real or not. Why oh why do you have to look so good with that hair of yours and your dimples and everything WHY WHY WHY.

Alright, as I'm typing this, I have officially 29 minutes left on my last day of being 15. To be honest, age is really just a number for people to identify you as and to categorize you and stuff like that. Mostly just for convenience sake. To me, age is really always going to be a number. That's why I don't understand why your 16th birthday is the big birthday, and then your 21st and all those because ultimately I'm still me and I'm just ageing.

That's what I'm truly afraid of. You're celebrating one year more of living, but you're celebrating one year closer to dying. I'm not being morbid, just being realistic. I get so upset when things become messed up and everything because I like my life to be just the way it is and I don't like change, be it good or bad changes. That's why I get so upset when I thought I lost my calculator because I don't want change. I don't want to grow old and see things in the world that I never knew and then become an adult and be thrown responsibilities that I know my mentality will NEVER be able to handle. I'm so scared.

Last year's birthday was horrible because I spent the entire day studying and my whole family didn't want to celebrate for me and I sat there with my cake, hoping that they'll come out of their rooms and sing with me but they never did. And they didn't feel the need to. And I sat there for an hour, until I realised I should get to bed so I choked down my cake and went to bed crying. This year isn't the same but it's the first time I wish my birthday never came.

Today I got really inspired by Ms Soh because just like how I think age is just a number, she said that grades are just letters. And why are our worth being calculated based on the kind of grades you get? Getting an A makes you a good person and getting a D makes you a bad person. Does that mean I'm a bad person? And what really made me realise that we fight so hard just to satisfy ourselves and by passing and getting Bs is what's going to make me satisfied then so be it and it's no one's business (: Because I have satisfied myself and reached my goal so who cares if everyone's getting As and A+s? 

Alright, 20 minutes left. 

Looking back on the past year, I've made many mistakes and I've made many right choices. And to be honest, I still don't know what direction am I heading and what are my goals. But alright, it has been an eventful year and I'm grateful for it (: Thank you to everyone for making the year great man, it means a lot. And what's in store for me...well, I shall leave that all up to what's in and what's in shall be what I'm going to see so... (: Haha.

Okay, I really don't think I should blog now because I'm really upset about being 16. Well, happy sweet 16 cheryl ying. Don't be too hard on yourself yeah? x

xoxo,

me 

13 minutes to go. Sad birthday.