"How do you just stop being terrified of getting left behind and ending up by yourself forever and not meaning anything to the world?"

Max Schneider is so good. (:

As much as I've been searching for really good songs, I've been keeping a lookout for good books as well. I think "good" is a subjective term and only you will truly understand what a good song or book is. Well, nowadays when I go to the bookstore or something, I think I no longer reach for books that catch my eye but I'll just stand there and scan until I feel something calling for me to pick a certain book out. Probably sounding like a freak now. Just went to do some research on the books that John Green wrote and...I don't know, I thought TFIOS had a mainstream plot but it was the way he worked it that made it so extraordinary. And I think he's a genius. Not in the way he creates such special plots, but how he makes those plots that seem impossible to happen in our lives, relevant to everything we're feeling and all his words encompass all the things we cannot express. And that's what I call a good book.

I think I can't write. And as much as I've enjoyed writing, I can't write good stuff. But as I've said, "good" is subjective and like how we analyzed "The Author to Her Book" by Anne Bradstreet (go check it out), we're just naturally protective and proud with whatever we come up with. Too often I just feel so much but I have no idea how to put these thoughts into words and actually jot them down. And that's a pity because we tend to let these moments pass us by. But I feel comforted by the fact that I'm not writing to impress, really. I just feel that the whole world can just, not understand a single word; but as long as it means something to you then that's all that matters. Probably sound like a nerd now so bye.

Can't exactly remember what I did yesterday because it felt like ages ago. Must have been lots of stuff. I just felt that yesterday was a good day because even though I was feeling really empty and all, I felt that the physical part of myself was at least taken care of. So it was a good day (: And the new place for Aspen is really pretty (: We have a larger classroom now, and lots of walking space (: But I'll always wonder what became of the old place that we've gotten used to. And especially my old seat and all the old arrangements and everything. Would it be missed?

So then we went to the newly revamped Suntec City to walk because the last time we went there it wasn't ready. And if you haven't been there, you should. Because they changed this portion of it to make it look like tbh any mall in Singapore, but it's still fascinating to see the place you were so familiar with turn into something else. And it looks nothing like it used to be :O 

Did nothing much today I guess. Went to school to hand in Bio Learning Journey Task 1 TT^TT So I traveled across the island for about an hour to only walk on the grounds of the school for less than 5 minutes .___. Went in from the front and left by the back. Just walking through. Then headed to Starbucks and it's the first and my last time getting a venti sized drink because I really cannot take how I feel like I might just get drunk on coffee or hot chocolate or tea or whatever. But yepyep not bad after all.

Some people just don't get the hint.

Don't give up on me now. I don't know what's happening and what I'm feeling but please, no, don't. Am I leaving too much behind and am I abandoning so much more? I feel like all these things don't need me to be a part of them and that I should find more things elsewhere. I don't get it. What am I feeling?

Need to forget you. Every single part of you. You're still imprinted at the back of my mind and I'm still trapped in your shadows. You're holding back all of me. You're going to be the reason I doubt everything everyone says. Your words will echo in my ears and your face will flash before my very eyes no matter who I look at. And it's got to stop. Because it's destroying me and everyone doesn't see that except me. 

False hopes and lies. I've got this feeling that you're just using me. 

Alright, that's all (: Can't wait to get back on track.

xoxo,

me 

Lastly, everyone needs to hear this.

"How do you just stop being terrified of getting left behind and ending up by yourself forever and not meaning anything to the world?"

Max Schneider is so good. (:

As much as I've been searching for really good songs, I've been keeping a lookout for good books as well. I think "good" is a subjective term and only you will truly understand what a good song or book is. Well, nowadays when I go to the bookstore or something, I think I no longer reach for books that catch my eye but I'll just stand there and scan until I feel something calling for me to pick a certain book out. Probably sounding like a freak now. Just went to do some research on the books that John Green wrote and...I don't know, I thought TFIOS had a mainstream plot but it was the way he worked it that made it so extraordinary. And I think he's a genius. Not in the way he creates such special plots, but how he makes those plots that seem impossible to happen in our lives, relevant to everything we're feeling and all his words encompass all the things we cannot express. And that's what I call a good book.

I think I can't write. And as much as I've enjoyed writing, I can't write good stuff. But as I've said, "good" is subjective and like how we analyzed "The Author to Her Book" by Anne Bradstreet (go check it out), we're just naturally protective and proud with whatever we come up with. Too often I just feel so much but I have no idea how to put these thoughts into words and actually jot them down. And that's a pity because we tend to let these moments pass us by. But I feel comforted by the fact that I'm not writing to impress, really. I just feel that the whole world can just, not understand a single word; but as long as it means something to you then that's all that matters. Probably sound like a nerd now so bye.

Can't exactly remember what I did yesterday because it felt like ages ago. Must have been lots of stuff. I just felt that yesterday was a good day because even though I was feeling really empty and all, I felt that the physical part of myself was at least taken care of. So it was a good day (: And the new place for Aspen is really pretty (: We have a larger classroom now, and lots of walking space (: But I'll always wonder what became of the old place that we've gotten used to. And especially my old seat and all the old arrangements and everything. Would it be missed?

So then we went to the newly revamped Suntec City to walk because the last time we went there it wasn't ready. And if you haven't been there, you should. Because they changed this portion of it to make it look like tbh any mall in Singapore, but it's still fascinating to see the place you were so familiar with turn into something else. And it looks nothing like it used to be :O 

Did nothing much today I guess. Went to school to hand in Bio Learning Journey Task 1 TT^TT So I traveled across the island for about an hour to only walk on the grounds of the school for less than 5 minutes .___. Went in from the front and left by the back. Just walking through. Then headed to Starbucks and it's the first and my last time getting a venti sized drink because I really cannot take how I feel like I might just get drunk on coffee or hot chocolate or tea or whatever. But yepyep not bad after all.

Some people just don't get the hint.

Don't give up on me now. I don't know what's happening and what I'm feeling but please, no, don't. Am I leaving too much behind and am I abandoning so much more? I feel like all these things don't need me to be a part of them and that I should find more things elsewhere. I don't get it. What am I feeling?

Need to forget you. Every single part of you. You're still imprinted at the back of my mind and I'm still trapped in your shadows. You're holding back all of me. You're going to be the reason I doubt everything everyone says. Your words will echo in my ears and your face will flash before my very eyes no matter who I look at. And it's got to stop. Because it's destroying me and everyone doesn't see that except me. 

False hopes and lies. I've got this feeling that you're just using me. 

Alright, that's all (: Can't wait to get back on track.

xoxo,

me 

Lastly, everyone needs to hear this.