Today after all the pre-camp stuff like running around carrying shitloads of stuff, rehearsing for JNCO parade etc then we had this session with Mr Lim. Okay I embarrassed myself by not knowing how the dustbin worked and Charlotte and Xiner were no where smarter ;) Yup then he asked what I expected out of my squad and I said effort. Seriously. As in no matter how bad we are, I've seen better and we can be that again if we'd put in more effort. Just a bit more. It's like...almost a chain reaction. If everyone "pushes" a bit harder, we'd get our dreams to the finishing line faster and easier. I was kind of happy/satisfied with my answer until Mr Lim totally slammed my word. In that moment I just felt so crushed and like I was wrong about everything all along. Maybe I am but that's not the point.

I guess the most disappointing part was not the fact that we got scolded again or anything but when he asked for volunteers and there were people who were OBVIOUSLY free during parade time but refused to volunteer to take over as flag party because someone couldn't make it. I mean seriously, it's not that I'm very awesome and zai and I won't be scared but WE SHOULD BE USED TO THIS BY NOW. If everything in sj is going to be so smooth-sailing and lacking of challenge then what's the point in doing everything? Living is not just about always sticking to the safe zone but taking the risk and doing things that you HAVE to do. Sad to say there are things we're expected and NEED to do. But I don't know why it's so hard to just raise your hand and save your friend. You guys have done it before and all you need to do is practice maybe once or twice but you just wouldn't do it -.- Gotta work on that effort bit yeah.

Stop fearing and start doing. Since when did we NOT screw up, since when did we NOT get scolded, since when did we even make people happy with the things we do? Might as well take all the chances we can and make all the mistakes we can and ultimately learn from all of it. Because people fear, they miss out on all the great stuff. You will see, I swear; you will see what you'll miss out and if you're smart enough, you'd know what I mean.

Today after all the pre-camp stuff like running around carrying shitloads of stuff, rehearsing for JNCO parade etc then we had this session with Mr Lim. Okay I embarrassed myself by not knowing how the dustbin worked and Charlotte and Xiner were no where smarter ;) Yup then he asked what I expected out of my squad and I said effort. Seriously. As in no matter how bad we are, I've seen better and we can be that again if we'd put in more effort. Just a bit more. It's like...almost a chain reaction. If everyone "pushes" a bit harder, we'd get our dreams to the finishing line faster and easier. I was kind of happy/satisfied with my answer until Mr Lim totally slammed my word. In that moment I just felt so crushed and like I was wrong about everything all along. Maybe I am but that's not the point.

I guess the most disappointing part was not the fact that we got scolded again or anything but when he asked for volunteers and there were people who were OBVIOUSLY free during parade time but refused to volunteer to take over as flag party because someone couldn't make it. I mean seriously, it's not that I'm very awesome and zai and I won't be scared but WE SHOULD BE USED TO THIS BY NOW. If everything in sj is going to be so smooth-sailing and lacking of challenge then what's the point in doing everything? Living is not just about always sticking to the safe zone but taking the risk and doing things that you HAVE to do. Sad to say there are things we're expected and NEED to do. But I don't know why it's so hard to just raise your hand and save your friend. You guys have done it before and all you need to do is practice maybe once or twice but you just wouldn't do it -.- Gotta work on that effort bit yeah.

Stop fearing and start doing. Since when did we NOT screw up, since when did we NOT get scolded, since when did we even make people happy with the things we do? Might as well take all the chances we can and make all the mistakes we can and ultimately learn from all of it. Because people fear, they miss out on all the great stuff. You will see, I swear; you will see what you'll miss out and if you're smart enough, you'd know what I mean.