"I really just wanna talk to you..."

HELLO. Shall just do a post of today even though I have lots of things to talk about but not a lot of time :X Hahaha. So today went out with my team! :D Haven't had an outing in ages and finally everyone decided to just take some time off today and just get together. Also to celebrate Charlotte's birthday which was on 4th December ^^ Hahahaha. Went to Bugis! Haven't been to Bugis for a really long time and heh, still haven't visited Bugis Street #fail D: Anyway, we spent the first half of the trip just stoning at J.CO waiting for Lau LOL and I had some glazed donut :D And then yogurt at Frolick! 

And then Pastamania hahaha. Always eating the same thing luh :D After that we found a spot to sit and talk and I shall not mention what spot but in any case it was the spot that they went to before Zone Comp with the mentors and they prank-called me there because I wasn't allowed to go on that day TT^TT Hahaha. I can't believe we can crap for hours OMG -.- Seriously we're too lame already. Hehehehe. Haish what a good day! And we planned our next outing already (: And yep, more motivation to get Nat Champs ;) HAHA.

I just feel so freaking tired now and I realised I'm getting lesser and lesser time for myself. I remembered in Yunnan, we were having reflections and Ma'am Huixian asked us something along the line of what do you miss that you had back in Singapore and stuff. People said the usual thing like "my bed", "food", "my parents" but I kinda said something like, time for myself. Back then I had time for myself. Like I would just sleep late and then have all the time to myself, dwell in the darkness and just immerse myself with my thoughts. But now...never. I don't even have time to sleep. And this is not a choice. I want to rest, I want to have time to breathe and to think. But no, no time at all. My parents tell me I'm not balancing my stuff, and I know I'm neglecting them but seriously, no time no time. If I have to keep balancing all these, I have no time. 你们一直说我是烂苹果，做什么事都做不好，但是你们没有看到我真的在努力，希望有一天你们会欣赏我所做的事。为什么你们就是要告诉我，我没有用，我做的事全都是在浪费时间。我知道我在做什么，我知道我没有在浪费时间。与其你告诉我那些对我没有帮助的东西，不然你安静，给我一写鼓励与平静，让我把事情做完，那不是更好吗？Every day I feel so stressed up, and I'm really not getting enough support. I feel like I'm only continuing this because I have too many people expecting and I cannot screw up. I'm so tired. Every single day it's the same thing. When can I ever get rid of all these nonsense and finally feel satisfied and happy?

Alright, shall stop here. Cannot keep ranting.

xoxo,

ME.

"I really just wanna talk to you..."

HELLO. Shall just do a post of today even though I have lots of things to talk about but not a lot of time :X Hahaha. So today went out with my team! :D Haven't had an outing in ages and finally everyone decided to just take some time off today and just get together. Also to celebrate Charlotte's birthday which was on 4th December ^^ Hahahaha. Went to Bugis! Haven't been to Bugis for a really long time and heh, still haven't visited Bugis Street #fail D: Anyway, we spent the first half of the trip just stoning at J.CO waiting for Lau LOL and I had some glazed donut :D And then yogurt at Frolick! 

And then Pastamania hahaha. Always eating the same thing luh :D After that we found a spot to sit and talk and I shall not mention what spot but in any case it was the spot that they went to before Zone Comp with the mentors and they prank-called me there because I wasn't allowed to go on that day TT^TT Hahaha. I can't believe we can crap for hours OMG -.- Seriously we're too lame already. Hehehehe. Haish what a good day! And we planned our next outing already (: And yep, more motivation to get Nat Champs ;) HAHA.

I just feel so freaking tired now and I realised I'm getting lesser and lesser time for myself. I remembered in Yunnan, we were having reflections and Ma'am Huixian asked us something along the line of what do you miss that you had back in Singapore and stuff. People said the usual thing like "my bed", "food", "my parents" but I kinda said something like, time for myself. Back then I had time for myself. Like I would just sleep late and then have all the time to myself, dwell in the darkness and just immerse myself with my thoughts. But now...never. I don't even have time to sleep. And this is not a choice. I want to rest, I want to have time to breathe and to think. But no, no time at all. My parents tell me I'm not balancing my stuff, and I know I'm neglecting them but seriously, no time no time. If I have to keep balancing all these, I have no time. 你们一直说我是烂苹果，做什么事都做不好，但是你们没有看到我真的在努力，希望有一天你们会欣赏我所做的事。为什么你们就是要告诉我，我没有用，我做的事全都是在浪费时间。我知道我在做什么，我知道我没有在浪费时间。与其你告诉我那些对我没有帮助的东西，不然你安静，给我一写鼓励与平静，让我把事情做完，那不是更好吗？Every day I feel so stressed up, and I'm really not getting enough support. I feel like I'm only continuing this because I have too many people expecting and I cannot screw up. I'm so tired. Every single day it's the same thing. When can I ever get rid of all these nonsense and finally feel satisfied and happy?

Alright, shall stop here. Cannot keep ranting.

xoxo,

ME.