"Really...?"


Things are getting crappier for me as I'm left alone. So...please bear with me. Yepp. I can't stand being alone because I start thinking about stuff but sometimes I have no choice :X

I guess...I'm pretty jealous about how the old batch of NA feel about their CT journey. Meaning our mentors' batch. They all had good things to say about their journey etc and yepp, they said it was really smooth-sailing. Maybe I'm not the kind who likes everything to be perfect and without drama and stuff but seriously, I'm quite jealous that they managed to hold on for so long. Yeah. And there are many things that even the current NA have then we are definitely lacking. And even though each team have their own sets of problems, I guess...I don't know what to say about this batch a.k.a. me. At least their squadmates came down to help them...I guess they were really excited to be in compteam? (: I really really really want our squadmates to come down for our comptrains D: I seriously want them to come down and be together with us and at least be involved in what we're doing and see what we're doing. But it seems really really hard ): And yeah, I really wish they would come down one day and to support us. But the thing is that...it seems that compteam people are really lonely. We only fit in when we're in squad, but once we start changing into compteam-mode, it seems we're from another planet altogether. I don't blame the squad because I believe that if I were not in CT, I would also feel awkward and left out if I were together with the compteam members. I guess...all teams caused a little little discrepancy between their squadmates and the team, but at least it didn't look so bad. Now...the problem revolves around compteam. No matter how much I love my team, I love my squad even more and it really saddens me to see because of something called "prestigious", it tears us all apart. NA and AA, maybe we don't see how they are in their squad since they are all split into their smcs but at least for a period of time they were still into their squad. But for us...it seems that we were already out the moment we got in. If I had a choice, I would really ban compteam. What's the point anyway? Compete? ._. Seriously. Compete for...? For honour? For glory? For fame? For name? For WHAT. So what if we clinch all the awards in the entire Singapore, the entire WORLD, but our squad is like that. If quitting comp team would solve all the problem, I bet many of us would readily say yes. But can you even guarantee that it would even solve the problem. This thing is like a bridge, and there's no way across because of a hole in the middle. Quitting would mean cutting off the bridge, which won't bring us any where too. Squadmates are the only thing in my life closest to family. And I am a very lonely person. I may seem I have a lot of people around but honestly when you ask me who I have around me when I am in trouble, there's not a name I can give you. Squad is the kind of family who is more than just family members, but they are your brothers and sisters and even FRIENDS. And this is the best squad in the history of DHSJAB okay. We may not be the best in footdrill, first-aid, self-discipline, attendance or probably even anything. But look here, we're the best when it comes to squad attitude and you guys always never fail to take up the most space in my life. Thank you. Even though I know that we will never be like what we were in the past and things in the future would definitely start pulling us further and further away but I just hope with all my hope that when you guys turn back to look back at your SJ life, the one you'll first think about is all the picture-perfect moments you spent with your squad. No squad will ever be the same, but I'm glad that you guys are mine. We will never be as good as the Year 5s, nor as successful as the Year 4s, but it's okay. I just want to apologise if there's anything I've done wrong and I want to have you guys right by my side again. And we really need your support. We can't win if we only depend on ourselves.

Lastly, if any one thinks that I'm being...cliche and stuff, I'm sorry too. I shall be honest here. As in, things at home for me aren't always good and as all of you know, I'm not good at anything. And all good things in my life never really last long. So about you, you guys have been there for more than two years, and I really want things to work out the way we dreamed of the moment we joined SJ and when we became a squad. Hope you guys understand(:

xoxo,
just me.

"Really...?"


Things are getting crappier for me as I'm left alone. So...please bear with me. Yepp. I can't stand being alone because I start thinking about stuff but sometimes I have no choice :X

I guess...I'm pretty jealous about how the old batch of NA feel about their CT journey. Meaning our mentors' batch. They all had good things to say about their journey etc and yepp, they said it was really smooth-sailing. Maybe I'm not the kind who likes everything to be perfect and without drama and stuff but seriously, I'm quite jealous that they managed to hold on for so long. Yeah. And there are many things that even the current NA have then we are definitely lacking. And even though each team have their own sets of problems, I guess...I don't know what to say about this batch a.k.a. me. At least their squadmates came down to help them...I guess they were really excited to be in compteam? (: I really really really want our squadmates to come down for our comptrains D: I seriously want them to come down and be together with us and at least be involved in what we're doing and see what we're doing. But it seems really really hard ): And yeah, I really wish they would come down one day and to support us. But the thing is that...it seems that compteam people are really lonely. We only fit in when we're in squad, but once we start changing into compteam-mode, it seems we're from another planet altogether. I don't blame the squad because I believe that if I were not in CT, I would also feel awkward and left out if I were together with the compteam members. I guess...all teams caused a little little discrepancy between their squadmates and the team, but at least it didn't look so bad. Now...the problem revolves around compteam. No matter how much I love my team, I love my squad even more and it really saddens me to see because of something called "prestigious", it tears us all apart. NA and AA, maybe we don't see how they are in their squad since they are all split into their smcs but at least for a period of time they were still into their squad. But for us...it seems that we were already out the moment we got in. If I had a choice, I would really ban compteam. What's the point anyway? Compete? ._. Seriously. Compete for...? For honour? For glory? For fame? For name? For WHAT. So what if we clinch all the awards in the entire Singapore, the entire WORLD, but our squad is like that. If quitting comp team would solve all the problem, I bet many of us would readily say yes. But can you even guarantee that it would even solve the problem. This thing is like a bridge, and there's no way across because of a hole in the middle. Quitting would mean cutting off the bridge, which won't bring us any where too. Squadmates are the only thing in my life closest to family. And I am a very lonely person. I may seem I have a lot of people around but honestly when you ask me who I have around me when I am in trouble, there's not a name I can give you. Squad is the kind of family who is more than just family members, but they are your brothers and sisters and even FRIENDS. And this is the best squad in the history of DHSJAB okay. We may not be the best in footdrill, first-aid, self-discipline, attendance or probably even anything. But look here, we're the best when it comes to squad attitude and you guys always never fail to take up the most space in my life. Thank you. Even though I know that we will never be like what we were in the past and things in the future would definitely start pulling us further and further away but I just hope with all my hope that when you guys turn back to look back at your SJ life, the one you'll first think about is all the picture-perfect moments you spent with your squad. No squad will ever be the same, but I'm glad that you guys are mine. We will never be as good as the Year 5s, nor as successful as the Year 4s, but it's okay. I just want to apologise if there's anything I've done wrong and I want to have you guys right by my side again. And we really need your support. We can't win if we only depend on ourselves.

Lastly, if any one thinks that I'm being...cliche and stuff, I'm sorry too. I shall be honest here. As in, things at home for me aren't always good and as all of you know, I'm not good at anything. And all good things in my life never really last long. So about you, you guys have been there for more than two years, and I really want things to work out the way we dreamed of the moment we joined SJ and when we became a squad. Hope you guys understand(:

xoxo,
just me.

Name: Cheryl
Location: Up in the sky.
DOB: 03/09

No one to stalk ;)

Layout by: babypenguin
Best viewed in Google Chrome.
Screen resolution: 1024 x 600
Main sources: ▲ ▲ ▲