Have been trying to stop looking back at everything recently, like just every time I find myself reminiscing about the past I'd stop myself. And it's not that I'm avoiding things; I guess I'm just not ready. But I guess sooner or later when life gets on and things feel okay again, I can look back and feel okay (: Just as of now, I feel so confused about how things could change so much and that's the part that worries me the most.

On a side note, I went to watch Mockingjay yesterday with my sister and my cousin who is finally back from Australia (: And while the movie wasn't fantastic, the company definitely made up for it. I can't believe she's graduating next year after being away for 4 years. We all grow up too fast sometimes. And H&M at Nex is really wonderful hahahaha. And I can't wait for family dinner tonight because almost everyone is going to be back and that's just what I need.

Maybe I need to go back to how I used to blog. Like just talking about how my day went and perhaps sometimes a little interjection about how I feel about things. So that I will stop writing about him. But I guess that's just how I keep things alive; the more I write, the more I feed these feelings with memories. And I love you so, but I don't want you to know anymore. It's not good for me.

A friend said that I should stop living in my dreams and come back down to reality because that's where we're living in, and maybe after awhile, reality won't seem that bad afterall. And I really like the idea of that (: It's like letting something grow onto you and that's so...normal. Like it isn't forced and that's how things always work for me. Just spending more time with something that seemed so boring and stupid but as time goes by, it grows onto you. And I want to love life, be it in the a dreamland that I conjure or the cold hard truth of reality. That's what's keeping me going.

Do I sound happier? I think I do. At least better than my mornings (:

Have been trying to stop looking back at everything recently, like just every time I find myself reminiscing about the past I'd stop myself. And it's not that I'm avoiding things; I guess I'm just not ready. But I guess sooner or later when life gets on and things feel okay again, I can look back and feel okay (: Just as of now, I feel so confused about how things could change so much and that's the part that worries me the most.

On a side note, I went to watch Mockingjay yesterday with my sister and my cousin who is finally back from Australia (: And while the movie wasn't fantastic, the company definitely made up for it. I can't believe she's graduating next year after being away for 4 years. We all grow up too fast sometimes. And H&M at Nex is really wonderful hahahaha. And I can't wait for family dinner tonight because almost everyone is going to be back and that's just what I need.

Maybe I need to go back to how I used to blog. Like just talking about how my day went and perhaps sometimes a little interjection about how I feel about things. So that I will stop writing about him. But I guess that's just how I keep things alive; the more I write, the more I feed these feelings with memories. And I love you so, but I don't want you to know anymore. It's not good for me.

A friend said that I should stop living in my dreams and come back down to reality because that's where we're living in, and maybe after awhile, reality won't seem that bad afterall. And I really like the idea of that (: It's like letting something grow onto you and that's so...normal. Like it isn't forced and that's how things always work for me. Just spending more time with something that seemed so boring and stupid but as time goes by, it grows onto you. And I want to love life, be it in the a dreamland that I conjure or the cold hard truth of reality. That's what's keeping me going.

Do I sound happier? I think I do. At least better than my mornings (: