"The day of my birth, my death began it's walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying."

I have a new dress.

I now have Math tuition despite my attempts to hold it off but apparently it didn't work and I wasn't good enough, so I now blow up my Sundays with church and then tuition and then piano. I thought it was a good idea to throw everything on one day so that I can free up other days but now I'm not so sure after feeling so extremely tired every day. But I will persevere, because that's pretty much the only thing I can do for now.

Friday was National Day celebration and had to do our Service Learning. I think I've accumulated much good karma this year (I don't believe in that though; it's just a figure of speech) because of YFC and everything so here's to add on to my collection. What's different about this cause is that we weren't raising funds or awareness for people or anything, but for something intangible and increasingly rare: graciousness. People who say Singapore's society is gracious are either lying or they haven't seen the worst yet. On one hand I am glad that people come up with such campaigns to encourage people to show graciousness towards others but on the other hand I can't help but feel a little ashamed that we have to even teach people how to be gracious and nice to others. Shouldn't it be an innate kind of thing? But nevertheless, it was a great experience and things that surprised me the most were very very supportive people. There was a Malay family who were really nice and there was this lady from Korea who requested to take a photograph with us because she said back in Korea, they have something like this too but they give hugs instead. On a sidenote, I wish we'd move forward to become a less conservative society too and maybe open up more to new ideas and people (like how security guards have to chase us away because we were standing on an area which is near to a mall and people who brushed us away because we wanted a high five). 

You told me to try my best but maybe my best isn't yet my best because who would know the highest point of the sky when they have not even reached the clouds? You showed me how to add and how to subtract but you didn't show me how to deal with heart aches and nasty people so when I had to cry, I had to cry on my own. You taught me how to put on my uniform for school and how to comb my hair, but you didn't teach me how to be okay when my self-esteem hits rock bottom or when I can't yank my jeans up to my hips. You told me one day all of this would be worth it, and setbacks would just mold me into a better person; but how would I know when the process is so painful and arduous and I just want to give up? You took my hands and lifted me up when I fell and scraped my knees but when people put me down, where were you to defend me and comfort me by saying that all I need is time? 

Insecure human.

xoxo,

me

"The day of my birth, my death began it's walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying."

I have a new dress.

I now have Math tuition despite my attempts to hold it off but apparently it didn't work and I wasn't good enough, so I now blow up my Sundays with church and then tuition and then piano. I thought it was a good idea to throw everything on one day so that I can free up other days but now I'm not so sure after feeling so extremely tired every day. But I will persevere, because that's pretty much the only thing I can do for now.

Friday was National Day celebration and had to do our Service Learning. I think I've accumulated much good karma this year (I don't believe in that though; it's just a figure of speech) because of YFC and everything so here's to add on to my collection. What's different about this cause is that we weren't raising funds or awareness for people or anything, but for something intangible and increasingly rare: graciousness. People who say Singapore's society is gracious are either lying or they haven't seen the worst yet. On one hand I am glad that people come up with such campaigns to encourage people to show graciousness towards others but on the other hand I can't help but feel a little ashamed that we have to even teach people how to be gracious and nice to others. Shouldn't it be an innate kind of thing? But nevertheless, it was a great experience and things that surprised me the most were very very supportive people. There was a Malay family who were really nice and there was this lady from Korea who requested to take a photograph with us because she said back in Korea, they have something like this too but they give hugs instead. On a sidenote, I wish we'd move forward to become a less conservative society too and maybe open up more to new ideas and people (like how security guards have to chase us away because we were standing on an area which is near to a mall and people who brushed us away because we wanted a high five). 

You told me to try my best but maybe my best isn't yet my best because who would know the highest point of the sky when they have not even reached the clouds? You showed me how to add and how to subtract but you didn't show me how to deal with heart aches and nasty people so when I had to cry, I had to cry on my own. You taught me how to put on my uniform for school and how to comb my hair, but you didn't teach me how to be okay when my self-esteem hits rock bottom or when I can't yank my jeans up to my hips. You told me one day all of this would be worth it, and setbacks would just mold me into a better person; but how would I know when the process is so painful and arduous and I just want to give up? You took my hands and lifted me up when I fell and scraped my knees but when people put me down, where were you to defend me and comfort me by saying that all I need is time? 

Insecure human.

xoxo,

me