"Why did you go away?"

Just logged onto this email account that I haven't been on for ages and in fact I forgot it existed until I needed an email to fill in something. And I realised that I created a wordpress account quite some time ago because I needed somewhere private to rant. And there's only one post (it still exists) but it's protected and even I can't remember the password to the post. Hmm, seems like it's another memory locked away.

I think there are different things that we want to get out of this life that we live on Earth and too often we get too caught up in what we're doing that we actually lose sight of what's right and what's wrong and everything else in between. It's like how in school I am utterly disgusted by people who use underhand methods or go to extremes to achieve academic excellence just so it would look good on their report card. I mean, it's fine, everyone wants to be successful, but it just gets a bit too much when it's what you live and breathe for. It's like all you have in mind is to have this prestigious thing printed on a stupid slip of paper and sure, you can mock me when you're some big shot but I just thought what a waste of time and life it is to make that your sole purpose in life now. Much worse when you're obsessed 'til you're just... 

I've ranted about this before I think (I rant too much I can't remember hahaha) but it's amplified now because sometimes I really question myself about how this world functions. And maybe because I'm tired of genuinely caring when some people are just doing their job because of how they want others to see them. Meaningless, I say. It is meaningless if all you care about is how the world sees you and all your actions revolve around that.

I'm just really sick and tired of all this bullshit and how pragmatic everything is. Maybe it's because I'm not a pragmatic person but I'm just really tired. At least I can safely say that whatever I'm doing in my life stems from the desire to actually do it, and not because, I don't know, I want to get some award/improve my t3a/get recognition/be praised by teachers/become popular or for whatever reasons.

It's only April and so much has happened. I need some time to breathe.

xoxo,

me

"Why did you go away?"

Just logged onto this email account that I haven't been on for ages and in fact I forgot it existed until I needed an email to fill in something. And I realised that I created a wordpress account quite some time ago because I needed somewhere private to rant. And there's only one post (it still exists) but it's protected and even I can't remember the password to the post. Hmm, seems like it's another memory locked away.

I think there are different things that we want to get out of this life that we live on Earth and too often we get too caught up in what we're doing that we actually lose sight of what's right and what's wrong and everything else in between. It's like how in school I am utterly disgusted by people who use underhand methods or go to extremes to achieve academic excellence just so it would look good on their report card. I mean, it's fine, everyone wants to be successful, but it just gets a bit too much when it's what you live and breathe for. It's like all you have in mind is to have this prestigious thing printed on a stupid slip of paper and sure, you can mock me when you're some big shot but I just thought what a waste of time and life it is to make that your sole purpose in life now. Much worse when you're obsessed 'til you're just... 

I've ranted about this before I think (I rant too much I can't remember hahaha) but it's amplified now because sometimes I really question myself about how this world functions. And maybe because I'm tired of genuinely caring when some people are just doing their job because of how they want others to see them. Meaningless, I say. It is meaningless if all you care about is how the world sees you and all your actions revolve around that.

I'm just really sick and tired of all this bullshit and how pragmatic everything is. Maybe it's because I'm not a pragmatic person but I'm just really tired. At least I can safely say that whatever I'm doing in my life stems from the desire to actually do it, and not because, I don't know, I want to get some award/improve my t3a/get recognition/be praised by teachers/become popular or for whatever reasons.

It's only April and so much has happened. I need some time to breathe.

xoxo,

me