"Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met..."

I don't know why I'm behaving like it's already the end of EOYs when in actual fact I still have about a week to go O__O Lol oh well. But honestly, I'm left with all the slack papers since I finished my Humanities yesterday ;D Tomorrow's LA Paper 2 and then Geog and History, which I have nothing to do with them. And then Monday's HCL Paper 2. And then I have no school on Tuesday because it's Physics paper 8) Then Wednesday (last day last day!) is Math 2 hahaha ): I already have an opened tab with Infinite Ranking King Episode 1 (yes, ep 1 TT^TT) loaded trololol 8)

Contemplating whether to keep either Tumblr or Blogger because it serves me no good to have both of them .__. 

Can't wait for Taylor Swift's album to be released!! :DDD

The past few days have actually flown by really quickly. Guess it's like that during EOY period and all. I think I'm screwed for many of the papers ): Especially Math because it was really mind boggling. For me, at least. Oh well. Math was never (and never will be tyvm) my strong subject -.- And Bio was kinda difficult too D: I mean, it being the first paper and everything .__. Lit...well, I really don't know what to say. It wasn't difficult or easy or anything, no feels about it O__O It was just...LIKE THAT, and I felt like some joker writing my essays because...no reason, I'm just a joke teehee 8D Sorry for my really incoherent thoughts. Then today was only Chemistry, the paper which I supposedly have the most faith in. AND GUESS WHAT, it was a killer. Just like what the rumours said: CT paper was a sympathy paper and this one is the real thing that's gonna whack you down real hard. AND YES. What a bitch man. I actually experienced something called a mental breakdown, that is really rare, today. Seriously like, blank out and start panicking ); Oh well. But it's over and I can only pray for the best~

Maybe if I weren't what I am now, everything would be better because now I'm starting to believe everything they have said, everything that they think. What's the point in telling yourself not to believe in all those things and that you're the man for the job when you start to self-destruct and you lose all faith in yourself. I am really doubting every single thing I've ever wanted to do. I can't bring myself to be what I am now. I won't ever live up to any one of your expectations and I don't know why I wanted to in the first place. This is worse than when people give up on you, because the only person who can save you is YOU and I've already given up on myself. It's going to take so long and so hard to get everything back on track. How. Why. When. Where. What. Who. 

I know it's a lot to ask but please do it for my sake. I know "my sake" is worthless and it will forever be in your eyes but please please please, I'm begging you with every part of me.

And then I have to act like I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm fine, I'm just tired in front of everyone because I'm supposed to be crazy, I'm supposed to be happy, I'm supposed to be happy-go-lucky and I'm not supposed to have any problems. Because people think that I don't have problems, people think I'm never troubled, people think I get over stuff quickly. And I have to do that, don't I?

Okay. Gonna end here if not I will just end up...lol. Okay, off to Ranking King~ 

xoxo,

me.

P.S. Luhan is cute LOL.

"Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met..."

I don't know why I'm behaving like it's already the end of EOYs when in actual fact I still have about a week to go O__O Lol oh well. But honestly, I'm left with all the slack papers since I finished my Humanities yesterday ;D Tomorrow's LA Paper 2 and then Geog and History, which I have nothing to do with them. And then Monday's HCL Paper 2. And then I have no school on Tuesday because it's Physics paper 8) Then Wednesday (last day last day!) is Math 2 hahaha ): I already have an opened tab with Infinite Ranking King Episode 1 (yes, ep 1 TT^TT) loaded trololol 8)

Contemplating whether to keep either Tumblr or Blogger because it serves me no good to have both of them .__. 

Can't wait for Taylor Swift's album to be released!! :DDD

The past few days have actually flown by really quickly. Guess it's like that during EOY period and all. I think I'm screwed for many of the papers ): Especially Math because it was really mind boggling. For me, at least. Oh well. Math was never (and never will be tyvm) my strong subject -.- And Bio was kinda difficult too D: I mean, it being the first paper and everything .__. Lit...well, I really don't know what to say. It wasn't difficult or easy or anything, no feels about it O__O It was just...LIKE THAT, and I felt like some joker writing my essays because...no reason, I'm just a joke teehee 8D Sorry for my really incoherent thoughts. Then today was only Chemistry, the paper which I supposedly have the most faith in. AND GUESS WHAT, it was a killer. Just like what the rumours said: CT paper was a sympathy paper and this one is the real thing that's gonna whack you down real hard. AND YES. What a bitch man. I actually experienced something called a mental breakdown, that is really rare, today. Seriously like, blank out and start panicking ); Oh well. But it's over and I can only pray for the best~

Maybe if I weren't what I am now, everything would be better because now I'm starting to believe everything they have said, everything that they think. What's the point in telling yourself not to believe in all those things and that you're the man for the job when you start to self-destruct and you lose all faith in yourself. I am really doubting every single thing I've ever wanted to do. I can't bring myself to be what I am now. I won't ever live up to any one of your expectations and I don't know why I wanted to in the first place. This is worse than when people give up on you, because the only person who can save you is YOU and I've already given up on myself. It's going to take so long and so hard to get everything back on track. How. Why. When. Where. What. Who. 

I know it's a lot to ask but please do it for my sake. I know "my sake" is worthless and it will forever be in your eyes but please please please, I'm begging you with every part of me.

And then I have to act like I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm fine, I'm just tired in front of everyone because I'm supposed to be crazy, I'm supposed to be happy, I'm supposed to be happy-go-lucky and I'm not supposed to have any problems. Because people think that I don't have problems, people think I'm never troubled, people think I get over stuff quickly. And I have to do that, don't I?

Okay. Gonna end here if not I will just end up...lol. Okay, off to Ranking King~ 

xoxo,

me.

P.S. Luhan is cute LOL.